According to Moonalice legend, there is no Six Million Dollar Man in the Moonalice tribe. There is, however, a "six of one, half dozen of the other" man. As depicted in tonight's poster by the amazing David Singer, Zodiac Moonalice was part ram, part man, part salmon, with lots of spare parts thrown in for good measure. Zodiac's greatest accomplishment is keeping his shit together, but he also has a superpower. He can hit a Moonalice logo - held in his right hand - with a photon in his left. If you don't think this is impressive, try it yourself. First person to send me a selfie video doing this wins a cupcake!!!

Gail Barnes' birthday.